This Too Shall Pass – Optimism amidst Bombs

Central Bank Bombing, Colombo, Sri Lanka - January 1996

You hear the click and then boom - the detonator indicates that this was a bomb and not a fire cracker - most probably a suicide bomber that hit Colombo every so often during the brutal civil war in Sri Lanka. It is estimated that 80,000 people were killed in the war between early 1982 and 2009.

The only way we could continue to live in Colombo - having a choice to leave to Canada as I was a Canadian citizen – was to have some optimism that this war will end. However, the possibility of dying around the corner was an extraordinary stress.

We had a good quality of life though, with a sense of community stemming from a close family, meaningful friendships, our professional lives and voluntary work. This sense of purpose and our natural ability to cope with the danger, as our brains are wired for resilience, had us in fairly good stead through all this.

Resilience is a dynamic developmental process that enables us to stay positive and recover from significant threats, severe adversity, or trauma.

It was this optimism - thinking positively that the war will end in the near future and the intention that we will survive it, that my wife Samantha and I agreed that we will move to Canada after the war is over. That wish and intention came true in May 2009, when the war ended.

Dante Cicchetti in his research paper Resilience under conditions of extreme stress: a multilevel perspective[i] states;

"Emotionality, perceiving stressful occurrences in less threatening ways and the ability to re-frame adverse experiences in a positive vein, spirituality, and being able to find meaning amidst trauma have each been linked to resilience."

My way of finding that resilience was through a daily mindfulness practice as I spent time alone every morning to exercise and meditate.  

That sacred time enabled me to clear my mind to come to terms with the uncertainty of war, to have gratitude to what I had to live life moment by moment with an open heart.  It was a matter of mastering my circumstances rather than letting it master me.

Elissa Epel, University of California San Francisco

Elissa Epel of University of California-San Francisco’s research shows that;

"Psychological stress cognitions, particularly appraisals of threat and ruminative thoughts, can lead to prolonged states of reactivity. In contrast, mindfulness meditation techniques appear to shift cognitive appraisals from threat to challenge, decrease ruminative thought, and reduce stress arousal. Mindfulness may also directly increase positive arousal states".[ii]

My mindfulness practice made me more resilient to cope with the horrors of war, which helped me confront my fears by watching my thoughts. I never dwelled on or thought too much about the possibility of a loved one, friends or me getting caught up in the violence. 

It was not a denial, as we did take certain precautions, but more a sense of optimism. If I left my thoughts unchecked, especially soon after a violent event, I could ruminate and move towards helplessness and despair.

Staying mindful enabled me to put things in perspective when I perceived a threat. I reminded myself to take a deep breath and find the space to redirect my thoughts in an optimistic direction.

Putting things in perspective - the threat of a bomb or gun violence looming over us, was not an everyday occurrence. Incidents in Colombo were sporadic and at times there was nothing for a few months and then there could be a spate of it. A constant source of stress and a reminder of the war were the armed check points.

Resilience of the Mind and the Brain

Until recently, the research into resilience focused on behavioral and psychosocial aspects had not examined the neurobiological area. Technological advances in neuro-imaging through electroencephalographic (EEG), for instance, has enabled this research to become broad based.

Dante Cicchetti - University of Rochester

In Dante Chichetti team’s multilevel investigation of resilience, emotional regulation, and hemispheric EEG asymmetry in children from high-stress low socioeconomic backgrounds, they hypothesized that positive emotionality and increased emotional control associated with resilience is shown through greater left frontal EEG activity.

The right hemisphere is associated with positive emotions and open behaviour and the left hemisphere is linked with negative emotions and withdrawal behaviour.  Emotions - in particular positive emotion and regulation, have consistently been associated with resilient adaptation. Thus, the potential connection of hemispheric EEG asymmetry with resilience lies in their common linkages with emotion and emotional regulation.[iii]

The study also states that the biological domains do not function independently. These systems affect each other, through bi-directional influences. As such both nature and nurture play a role.

Therefore, factors associated with resilience are:

• Close relationships with competent and caring adults in the family and community; 
•  Self-regulation abilities; 
• Positive views of self; 
• Motivation to be effective in the environment (i.e., self-     efficacy and self-determination); and 
• Friendships and romantic attachments.

“It takes a village to raise a kid” goes the saying. I grew up in such a village near Kandy, Sri Lanka. I was blessed with loving parents who nurtured close relationships with our immediate and extended family of friends and neighbours. This sense of acceptance, belonging and security gave me a foundation for a positive self esteem.

Studies show that early life experiences determine the brain architecture for plasticity, adaptation to stress and resilience[iv]. A high self esteem also lends itself to feeling optimistic.

Controlling the Media

Samantha and I made a decision as our children were born that we will not have television in our home. This decision was made so our children could grow up to be self-reliant and creative. Playing with other children, exploring the outdoors and reading books, we thought would be a better way of growing up. 

I was an avid reader of the Sunday papers at the time, and found the news of war not only in Sri Lanka, but despair around the world depressing, so we decided to get rid of those too. I heard what I needed to know from someone or somehow at some point, yet it did not consume me, unless of course, if it was a bomb that detonated in Colombo.

Jurrian Kamp

Jurrian Kamp in his book The Intelligent Optimist’s Guide to Life states;

“Media use a tool dictators have used with great success for centuries. They spread fear and pessimism because it sells.”

We seek news of dramatic, negative events because our hunter-gatherer brain’s reptilian side needs artificial stimulation to keep us alert and active.[v]

In my case, I had the real deal, so did not need to hear more bad news from the media.

Kamp goes on to state;

“Most people don’t pay much attention to how they feed their minds.  And the impact of what we put in our eyes and ears is as deep as what we put in our mouths”,

Kamp, in the book, quotes Rob Dobelli of the Guardian;

’News is to the mind what sugar is to the body. News is easy to digest’  

..and goes on to state;

“To be healthy, we need to avoid sugar.  It’s the same with the news.  Like bad eating habits, continuous exposure to bad news makes you sick.”

Kamp, a former editor and correspondent in South Asia and chief economics editor at the Dutch daily newspaper, NRC Handelsblad, knows a thing or two about the media.

Martin Seligman

Martin Seligman, the promoter of Positive Psychology says that the most satisfied, upbeat people were those who had discovered and exploited their unique combination of "signature strengths," such as humanity, temperance and persistence. Seligman concludes that happiness has three dimensions that can be cultivated: the Pleasant Life, the Good Life, and the Meaningful Life.[vi]

The Pleasant Life is realised if we learn to savour and appreciate such basic pleasures as companionship, the natural environment and our bodily needs.

Good Life is achieved through discovering our unique virtues and strengths, and employing them creatively to enhance our lives.  The self worth we have from living the good life enables us to have an open heart, so we can live a Meaningful Life. 

Here we find a deep sense of fulfilment when we live and realize our life for a purpose greater than ourselves.  Maslow talked about self actualization in the same way that is at the pinnacle of his hierarchy of needs.

Through the Noble Eightfold Pathway, Buddha's teaching guides us towards a middle path - with right view and understanding as its foundation, with a mindfulness practice, manage our emotions to focus our thought process for right words and action with the realization of our oneness with nature.  

This wisdom enables us to think and act positively with kindness, compassion. empathy, joy and generosity, which opens the possibility to live our lives in a way that brings meaning. 

Being optimistic is not to avoid the realities - the impermanence of things, the uncertainty of life, the suffering, but to accept and realize there are lessons in the roller coaster of life.  Where there is happiness there will be sadness; we have good health and illness; we win some and lose some; at times accepted and then rejected and these dichotomies continue till the end of our time.  Optimism is when we accept these with grace. 

"The most certain sign of wisdom is cheerfulness" wrote the 16th century French Philosopher Michel de Montaigne.   

Michel De Montaigne - The Book of Life

Montaigne mastered the art of living by achieving through what he calls ataraxia - serene calmness or equilibrium; to maintain balance with emotional control - to not jump for joy when things go well nor plunge to despair when things go wrong. (vii) 

Being cheerful and optimistic helps put things in perspective as nature’s law of entropy and chaos means there is constant change in this universe that, no human mind, faith nor science or technology can stop.  For me, that acceptance allows me a certain equanimity to live life in a better balance.  Then when “shit happens”, I say to myself – “this too shall pass". 

This article of dedicated to a wonderful monk and teacher, Bhante Kovida who's mantra is "This too shall pass"... 

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[i] World Psychiatry. 2010 Oct; 9(3): 145–154.

[ii] Can meditation slow rate of cellular aging? Cognitive stress, mindfulness, and telomeres - Elissa Epel, PhD., Jennifer Daubenmier, Ph.D., Judith T. Moskowitz, Ph.D., Susan Folkman, PhD., and Elizabeth Blackburn, PhD

[ii] Dante Cicchetti - Resilience under conditions of extreme stress: a multilevel perspective - World Psychiatry. 2010 Oct; 9(3): 145–154 – PMCID: PMC2948722

[iv] Recognizing resilience: Learning from the effects of stress on the brain: Bruce S. McEwen, Jason D. Gray, Carla Nasca

Neurobiology of Stress, Stress Resilience - Volume 1, January 2015, Pages 1–11

[v] Why we love bad news; We may be hard-wired for bad news. Ray Williams; Wired for Success - Posted Dec 30, 2010

[vi] Seligman, Martin E.P. (1991). Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. New York, NY: Pocket Books.

(vii) https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/01/07/how-to-live-montaigne/

https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/the-great-philosophers-michel-de-montaigne/