Balancing My East with My West - As I Settle into my New Life in Canada

I am blessed to be a part of the Authentic Leadership in Action community (ALIA) formerly Shambala Institute.  My first Shambala Summer Leadership Institute -  2008 in Halifax, Nova Scotia was with Wendy Palmer (and Paul Ciske)  and her amazing Conscious Embodiment program I have referred to in this article.  Check her out here; https://www.leadershipembodiment.com/tag/wendy-palmer/

I was there a second time in 2013 and attended the Designing Strategic Change from the Inside Out with Chris Corrigan, Marguerite Drescher, Caitlin Frost, Tim Merry & Tuesday Ryan-Hart.  ALIA programs are magical and transformational.  

This article below was written for the ALIA Blogsite in 2011 (no longer there), so I post it again to share with you my own personal practice to deal with difficult and challenging times, as we moved to Canada in August 2011.  

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Making a move from Sri Lanka in the summer of 2011 where I was for the last 27 years - enjoying the warm weather, the ocean, the social life and meaningful work, dealing with the challenges of a brutal war around us, living our life on the edge, yet to its fullest - is not an easy one.

We chose Ottawa, a smaller city, accessible, friendly people and close to nature - however, making a move knowing only 4 people here at my age of 52 + was challenging.   

Then again, my father was 57 when he and my mother immigrated with my two sisters and me to Toronto in 1973 from the hillside Sri Lankan town of Kandy.   

Kandy was materially simpler, surrounded by nature and a small community, so the big city of Toronto was a culture shock for all of us and an awe inspiring transformation.  

With time my parents and siblings adapted and made a good life in Canada.  

As I had come with my own family - Samantha and the four kids - on holiday many a time to Canada, our move in 2011 was relatively easy.

Perils of Winter

First day of snow outside our new home in Ottawa

Four months hence and as the days get colder, shorter and darker, I am being mindful and aware of what is going on within me - my mind and body - to cope with this change not only for me, but for Samantha and the children.  

I have not mourned for what I left behind as I am focused on the present and the future, creating my new life and I feel the strain.  Through it all, I have to be present to keep my balance, as I could easily fall into despair on these dark cold days.

The Road Less Traveled

As an entrepreneur and a self starter – I took the Road Not Taken (Robert Frost) - it is even more daunting as I have to set about my business to sell myself and make a name in a new city.  

Packaging 27 years of diverse experiences into a business of leadership, spirituality, renewable energy and sustainability needs me to be creative and ingenious in an environment where people tend to want to cast one into an easily identifiable slot.   

To endure uncertainty is second nature for me being an entrepreneur.  Having to live through the trauma of a war added to this challenge.   

When doubts and fears arise, I ask myself, what is the worst that could happen?.  That puts things in perspective, as in Canada the chance of getting caught up in a bomb as it was during the war in Sri Lanka is remote.   

Living with the Dhamma

Having grown up with Buddha's teachings, I accept that life has suffering which arises from the impermanence of everything. Buddha gave us a noble path to end this suffering and I am guided by it. Buddha also said not to take what he said at face value. He urged us to quiet the mind, meditate, reflect, question and inquire to experience nature's truth ourselves. 

My inquiring mind takes me to many other sages and teachers from the East and the West, from Socrates to Krishnamurti, Rumi to Aquinas to the modern day Osho, Dalai Lama, Ajahn Sumedho, Joanna Macy, Fritzjof Capra, Vandana Shiva, Bruce Lipton among others and I realize it is a lifetime of learning, while living a life in the middle path. 

Conscious Embodiment

I am grateful to and inspired by my many teachers - one being Wendy Palmer <https://leadershipembodiment.com/> who opened a new world for me in 2008 - aligning the body, mind and the breath - through the Aikido based Conscious Embodiment program at what was then the Shambhala Summer Institute in Halifax.  

I endeavor to live by the four poles - to the South, grounded in my integrity, as honesty is the best policy; to the West, generosity - to give my time and to be of service without expectations; to the East, to be gracious, to appreciate all I have; and to the North, live with dignity, as when I ensure the other’s dignity is intact in how I live, so is mine.   

 

I feel the tension of the contradictions in me in trying to walk the talk on the "four pole" affirmations and coming to terms with the imperfect me.

The Power of Balance - The Rituals

My daily practice is steeped in ritual to help keep me centered as my new life unfolds, as I realize, if I magnify any one of the doubts and fears that arise, I will succumb. 

The ritual begins in the morning as I awake with deep breaths and ankle rolls, getting the body oxygenated and energized for the dawn of a new day.  

Then I do a Reiki affirmation, calling out to the Abundant Universe to seek guidance for the new day, the new challenges to navigate through the trials and tribulations, so I can be balanced and centered, to put things in perspective for the decisions I have to make.  

I then wish everyone I know - all beings to be well and happy and an offer of gratitude to my health and well being, the love I have and appreciation for the people around me - my benefactors and angels - and for the opportunities abound.

Meditating in the neighborhood forest  at the edge of a snow patch 

Then I sit cross-legged in meditation - 'Ana Pana Sati bhavana' - following my breath to quiet my mind and reflect and contemplate on the nature of life and end with a chanting to balance the Chakras and feel the joy of being aligned and at peace - on most days. 

Now I am ready for some physical exercise - to fill my lungs with air and my blood with endorphins - yoga stretches, sit ups, push ups, pull ups and a few days of the week, a run or a bike ride, even as it gets colder, often thinking about the warm ocean swims I used to have.  

All this requires an hour - sometimes I indulge with two or when I am in a real rush, even 30 minutes - brings me to a nourishing breakfast with fruits and oats to be ready and grounded for an unpredictable day.

Facing the New Day

Throughout the day, I strive to stay mindful with bare attention, being aware of my mind and body - feelings and needs - as I meet the external challenges of finding meaningful work.  

I end the day with a meditative focus and a reflection, again appreciating and being thankful for all that has brought me closer to my goal and in expectation of even a better day tomorrow.

Being centered and grounded is my anchor - allows me to put things in perspective, deal better with rejection or postponement of decisions, people not responding or offering me a chance - not to magnify the negative and let it overcome me with fear, as I am grateful for what I already have.  

Fear arises when I think about the future, especially as the investment I made in a solar company is not meeting its promise, due to external factors out of our control.  

 

I realize money is important as a means to live, especially in Canada where my contacts are few and there is little give, as opposed to the support system we had in Sri Lanka.  

When fear arises I follow Wendy’s advice -  I inhale up through the top of my head toward the sky reaching to the stars and then a long exhale imagining my breath going through me to the core of this earth - to feel secure in being anchored between heaven and earth in a stable and dignified posture.  Concentrating on my breath for a few moments, I feel supported by the energy around me and feel centered.

Finding My Place Here

To be centered is to be creative, for I leave no stone unturned in my quest to find this good work. 

 

I set the intention to meet one new person each day for a meaningful conversation - widening my circle, making new friends, listening to their stories, seek their wisdom - understanding the subtleties of Canadian culture, relearning what I may have known when I lived here three decades ago - to slowly realize and gain confidence that I do have something to contribute and even make a difference.  

I encounter interesting the cultural contrasts - we stand close to talk to each other in the East and an endearing touch maybe an invasion of space here; being curious, open and provocative as we are in the East, maybe politically incorrect here; my different words, accent and the 'South Asian' nod - ‘yes-maybe’ from my head may confuse and give rise to some unconscious micro-aggression.  

 

Every day I learn by taking a deep breath, pausing to be patient, to listen and watch - trying to understand the subtle nuances as I align back with the culture here, not to lose my soul, but to connect in a comfortable middle.  

I am heartened to see in Canada - contrary to Mark Twain of yore - the East and the West are meeting halfway between the extremes of materialism vs spiritualism; determinism vs free will; individualism vs community - and I feel I could not have moved here at a better time than now.

The multicultural me is a bridge builder and in my relationships and work, I want to share my learning to inspire others, especially those who seem paralyzed by the material world’s need for control.  I affirm my purpose daily along wth the gratitude practice - 'to help others to find their inner power, so they find their peace within'. 

All this while, I am mindful of Samantha and our four children as they adapt to this new land, the weather and its culture. Therefore, I cannot burden them with my doubts and fears, but to be strong and resilient as I find my feet here. 

I engage and co-inquire with them as they settle in - so they also get grounded with wisdom of their intuition to complement their senses.  I encourage them to begin with their breath... to quiet the mind, reflect, be thankful for the blessings and find the power of balance to anchor in the uncertain and chaotic process of settling into the adventure of a new life in the West.    

The man from the East, with his faith in the eternal who in his soul had met the touch of the Supreme Person – did he never come to you in the West and speak to you in the Kingdom of Heaven?.  Did he not unite the East and the West in truth, in the unity of one spiritual bond between all children of the Immortal, in the realization of one great Personality in all human persons?.  
                                                       Rabindranath Tagore – Creative Unity

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Lalith Gunaratne

Ottawa, Canada

Posted on Connecting ALIA Blogsite on 25^th December 2011

Connect with me at;

<Lalith@mindfulsage.net>